I'm a great liar.

If i had told you a lie, you'd probably believe me. If I had faked you a smile, you'll probably believe it. Can I really be trusted? Even I find a way to deceive my own self.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

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Presto chango.

Can I really act like nothings changed? Oh wait, nothing has.

I want to be a turtle. I want to be able to hide in a shell. I will get me a turtle tattoo.

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...

awkward turtle.

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Give me a break... of that kitkat bar! (:

Yipee, i thought it deleted when my firefox crash but it saved onto drafts.

Haha, Thanksgiving break was, from what I can remember, hecka fun! Last monday, I went to borders, did some homework there then hung out with Samir, Thomas, and Tiffany. Me and Samir had some deep ass conversations. Hahaha. We thought that was fun, so the next day we decided to just hang out at the Hub, and Becky, Valentina, and Tram (val's cousin, who is hecka cool) joined along which made it like a gazillion times more fun. nom nom sushi. Wednesday... I have no idea what I did. Thursday, yum yum turkey. Played some Tackle football with some of the seniors and my brother and his friends (sophomores in college). Nishant, Kevin, Thomas, Li, Andrew, and Samir came over at like 10 and spent a night. Well, we didn't get any sleep and left the house at like 4:30 to go black friday shopping. I bought a jacket from express men and two jeans from anchor blue. Went to denny's at like 8. Came back to the mall by myself, everyone was dead tired, at around like 9ish to hang out with becky and her friend Ivy. She left me after like an hour then i fell asleep on a bench. Wowow, very dangerous, i could of gotten my things stolen :[ Went home... slept for like 6 hours. Theen that's about it? There was more homework involved but i forgot like most of what I did. I hope I didn't miss anything crucial.

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Buh Byes.

o_o.

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Goodnight

13 hour sleep, woke up at 8. 2-3 hour nap at around 5. In bed again and it's 10:45 pm. Why do I sleep so much? How can I sleep so much?.

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I find it funny how people can move on without saying goodbye. Good times we had. I guess we've just grown apart. We said we wouldn't have, but even then I had a feeling that it wouldn't last forever. I hope that fate hadn't doomed upon us. Well, goodbye my dear friend, for I will surely miss you (: Too bad I still see you everyday.

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thanksgiving break

Thanksgiving break has finally begun. 9 days. Great start, slept 13 hours (: I have no idea how I want to spend the rest of it. Make plans? Hmm maybe. Spend it alone? Another great choice. I do have a lot of hw I can get ahead on. But that gets lonesome. Half&half it (: but for now, I think I'm going back to sleep.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

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Ambiguity.

Do I want to? Why wouldn't I. Why can't I? Why am I being so stupid. Why must I be so stupid. Thoughts spin around in circles around my head, but they are just thoughts. Stupid thoughts. I don't even know what I want, what I want to do, what I want to be. Shooooot. Whatevs. I'll let life play out on its own. Wait, thats a stupid thought; cause, being to passive... i'll just let everything slip away. Maybe I want to? Too bad no one knows what i'm talking about. Do I even know what i'm talking about? Thats ambiguity for you. There's so much meanings you can derive from this. Which shall you assume?

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Sisterly love.

My sister told me today i have mood swings but never pointed it out cause i'd just get angry. She said she usually just goes with it. "One day you're like WOOH YEEEEEE WOOOOH YEEEE. Another you're like... grr rawrr. If you weren't my brother, i'd think you're bipolar". D:< And... I guess I do have mood swings. ._.

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I.

I just realized that I really need to get my shit together. ._.

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Thieves.

I don't like thieves. When you take something that doesn't belong to you, you steal the rights of something of someone's possesisons without their knowledge. When you lie, you steal the rights of someone knowing the truth. When you murder, you stealing them away from those who love him, and his rights to live. When you cheat, you take the rights of fairness in a situation. I don't like thieves. One may say I hate them. Please don't be a thief, for I won't be able to look at you the same. This applies to no certain anyone.

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Boom.

Today was an easy day at school. However, I wanted it to end. I was singing at lunch. I never sing, unless i'm at the privacy of my own home, in Kevin's car <- HAHA. (:, when i hang out with misaye and dorothy, or when i'm playing tennis. But I was none of that. It just felt like an off day? Maybe it was because of Friday the 13th. Haha, bad luck day? Possible. Started practice late today. 3:15. I'm failing as a captain. I have to much on my mind this past week to lead this team into victory. Must beat Logan. Still. I can't function when that is on my mind. Well, we started conditioning. Didn't do any strength building. Some footwork though, so thats good. Everyone sweated even on this cold weather, which was a success. Lost to Nishant in a set. :/ He owned me. After thoughhh, rallied with Kevin. We were beasting. Had very long rallies. Nishant said we were hitting better than him and were hitting on a college level. Haha, yay for the confidence boost (: Afterwords, I went and got me a Thai Milk Tea from Quickly, and they went to get Taco bell and Vietnamese Sandwiches. I ate at home like a good boy. Then we watched G.I. Joe and played some Halo 3. Afterwards, we chitchatted. Good stuff. I'm sorry we didn't talk much sara :[ and anna, you lied to me, you were suppose to come to my practice!

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I'm sorry.

I think i say i'm sorry too much. It's possible that people have stop believing me, it's lost its meaning. But I hope that those that matters to me do.

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Sorries.

I'm sorry, I was being stupid.

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I'm sorry, but i'm an assumer. Good bye, 'cause you'll be glad.

Just because i'm nice to girls, that means I try to get at them? That's how you guys really view me of as? I'll tell you straight about who've i truly liked in the past. 3rd grade, Mattos elementary ~ Tamara. Then I transferred to Durham in the 4th, and i liked Kayleen in the 5 and 6th grade. In the seventh grade i liked Margaret, and asked her out but she turned me down. 8th and 9th grade, i liked Misaye for two whole years. I've liked Dorothy at one point of time. 10th grade, i liked Kiana. That summer however, i liked Cynthia for a bit. And now I've liked you for like, 2 months? That's what, 8 people, in 9 years? I guess that's a bad ratio. However, you're entitled to your opinions and I understand why you believe that. Believe what you like, whom you like, i have no credibility. Do you know that you've actually hurt me the easiest and most? I actually teared up when i read your posts. The last time i did, was when my cousin pasted away. You're actually a person i'd like to be with. I almost had the courage to ask you out. Why do you think i fought so hard to walk you back? It would be so much easier if i didn't like you that much, but i can't just simply ignore you since you've done nothing wrong, you just dont feel tge same way. I feel like the bad person if i do so. Lmao, i sound like a queer. Don't worry though, I'm not mad at you. If I was, it'll be only be to myself, cause I'm stupid for going to deep.

Today is supposedly the epic wish day that happens once per year. 11/11, 11:11:11. Wishing brings false hope. But don't worry, now I know how you feel, I'll make your life a lot easier. Good bye. You have school to worry about.

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Rawr.

Rawr. One word, that consist of 3 words, that consist of many unexplainable abstract feelings. I'm tired. Goodnight&sweetdreams.

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Fun friday! (:

After tennis, it started raining, soo we went to YoSwirl. Right when we got there, we were like "wth, why are we here! We can get free all you can eat icecream at Dickies! (:" So we (Nishant, Kevin, Jeff, Li, Thomas, Numair, David, Megan, my sister, and myself) met up with Val, Becky and An, we coincidentally got there at the exact same time. I was being hella indecisive, took like 30 minutes to pick (: Soo i was like,BECKY, let's get the picnic pack! Dayum, that was a lot of food! 1 pound of beef brisket, 4 rolls, fries, and potato salad. yuumm-o! (: Ohh yeah, Santillan's and Greathouse kids were there. Hecka funny. They got jokes. After, I had a pretty intense big halo party. Was like 10 people there. Tons of cursing went on while playing XP Played some 4 v4. Lasted 'till about 10ish. fun stuff. It was a good way to end the day.

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Pain.

My legs were in so much pain yesterday. I had to limp to get around. I could barely lift it up. When I was playing tennis, it was quite painful. Still, I got on the court, and smacked every ball as hard as I could. Why was I like that?

What I realized is that real occurrences does hurt me, but the persuasiveness of imagination does.

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Tennis heals the pain in my legs. It heals the pain in my heart.

Today's school day was good. Then something happened. Then, I get a little sad. Then, I play tennis. Then, I get a little mad. Then, I almost kill Cynthia Vu and Thomas by hitting too hard. Then, I get frustrated with myself. I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I'm sorry, but you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, but i'm going to be a jerk. I'm sorry, but you're the reason why i'm sad. I'm sorry, but I let my the best of my imagination take over me. I'm sorry but I can't make you as happy as him. I'm sorry that I can't make you laugh the way he does. I'm sorry, but if you don't see me anymore it's because it's not that I have better things to do, but I occupy my time with tennis and the gym is so that there's no time to think of you. I'm sorry that I can't find any fault in you. I'm sorry that I can't just stop liking you. I'm sorry that I have to say goodbye. I'm sorry that i'm going to act completely normal around you, so you won't know who you are.

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Thinking leads to more thinking.

Hmm, so today I couldn't go to school due to the fact that I have a stye on my good eye, my other eye has amploydia so i can barely see. When I woke up, I had a hard time seeing anything, so I informed my parents that I wasn't going to school, because I didn't want it to get worst. If it does, I can be nearly blind for life. Soo yeah, I slept 'till 9ish. When I woke up, I had to apply a warm, damp towel. I did that for about 2 hours. When you're lying in your bed, can't use the comp, can't watch t.v., can't even read a book, you have to resort to thinking; about those things that you have been strategically manauevering away from for awhile now. And what have I came up with? I'm quite indecisive. I don't know what I want. I have to make little deals to force myself into doing something. Why? Cause I don't know what I want. Also, I notice that I worry to much about other people. Yeah, a lot of people would agree that it's a good thing. But if I spent all my time caring about other people, who's going to care about me? I have to spend a little less of my time worrying, and do things that I want to do. Maybe that's why i'm indecisive? Because I always put my thoughts aside for other's since I feel like i'm disappointing them. Of course I won't completely be close-minded and be a stubborn asshole that will always make it go my way, but perhaps only taking a little iniatitive of my own will not allow people to push me over. I am sorry if I disappoint you dear reader, but please give me a break once in awhile. My eye is irritating again, I'm going to apply another warm-towel.

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