Sara... It's soo hard to decode you're broken up messages without trying to assume things =/ I'm sorry if im getting to nosy, but I don't want you to be sad anymores T_T. But it's completely understandable if you don't want to tell anyone anything, :x. && im sorry that your love life is blehish.
Read more...I don't feel like I have much emotion anymore. Every time I get happy, the downfall is hard. My mind is protecting me from that. How longer can I keep up this facade around the people? It's almost time to stick my nose into books. Maybe that'll keep me distracted and let my mind be at rest for awhile. Tata for now.
Read more...D: That L.A. trip has got you thinkin, eh? Haha, you finally noticed you're changing (: Shocking, isn't it? Changing is inevitable, you're going to be doing a lot of that during high school, even if you say you aren't. It'll be hard to accept it, but it's going to happen. Denying the fact will just make you angry at yourself, and i don't want to see you angry at yourself D: Don't get me wrong, i'm not telling you to change, but it'll happen. Sometimes fast, sometimes real slow. You're friends are going to change, you attitude towards people, and your view on the world. Geeet ready for four years of high school (:
Pssh, you deserve more love than you think. Presents? Who really needs presents. I know I don't. I don't like them, i don't feel like i deserve them. Over the years when I talk to people, they always said i had some kind of "emotional wall" infront of me that blocked me from getting to close to anyone, because i was afraid to get hurt, since when I did let me guard down, I did get hurt. Overtime, that "wall" kept on getting thicker and thicker. But this summer, you went to talk to such a 'spaz' as myself, and over a relatively short time i found it really easy to talk to you. It was fun. Because of you, I find it easier to talk to people when they ask me "how are you feeling or even comversation starters like "wassup" I rarely ever reply now with Nothig Much, unless i'm really doing nothing. I like to converse with people more. Not only did made me be more open, you jumped over the wall :D I can probably talk to you about more things then people who i've known for 7 years now. So to sum it all up, I rather have a friend who I can talk with like you, then a friend who only gives me presents and thinks we are "close" because of that. So, I appreciate you as a friend very very much. Thannkk you Helen (:
P.s. For some reason, I imagined you're cousins to be hecka buff hockey players >_>
'Damn girl, dry your eyes. You stole my heart and you kicked it aside. No girl, you can't see, when he's in your heart there's no room for me.' ~ All American Rejects - Damn girl.
Such an appropriate song. School is coming up. This year is going to be interesting. So much school work. Class of 2010's last year. My sister is coming in and sme awesome new freshie's like Helen, Cynthia, and Lily! I'm going to be in the Junior dance. I'm starting up a club with margaret, and i'm going to be in the VSA (vietnamese student association) dance as well. We should have a good tennis season. I'm going to buy myself a birthday present, either an iPhone or HTC G1, and hopefully it'll encourage me to do better during this school year (: I'm setting myself up for failure with the classes plus the school spirit participation, but if my mind is completely focused, and I get through this year perfectly... It's possible I can get in Berkeley, and attend one of the best business school in the world.
Je veux oublier d'elle. Non, j'ai oublier d'elle parce que nous sommes de différent les mondes.
Read more...Wooh. *sarcastic*. Soo, it's been a real bitchy morning, and it only has been 2 fuckin' hours. Soo, my dad had my uncles over, since one of them had helped him put cement on his landscaping job yesterday, which was friday (not to confuse anyone). As usual, they drank beer and 'socialized'. I think they took fucking shots this time with henesys. As usual, they got fucking drunk. I fucking hate, actually loathe drunk people. Soo... it ended like at 1:15, everyone went home. My brother Hop (3rd oldest), which is a senior and U.C. Davis. comes home at ehh, around 1:30ish. We chitchat because he was updating me on his internship at Liberty Mutual, a pretty high ranked financial group. So.. i'd say 1:40ish comes around. My mom comes out of the room crying, because she tried calming my dad down since he probably had an arguement with one of my uncles. She came out yelling something like "they're just kids" or something. It was about my cousins. Honestly, I don't like them either. They don't try. One of them went to a state colleges because she didn't apply for any UCs because she didn't want to get "rejected". WTF?! REALLY?! >_> But yeah. that's a different story. Soo, it probaly has something with my dad trying to lecture his older brother-in-law. Why? Cause he's drunk. And of course, being the older sibling, my uncle didn't want to take shit so he proably yelled back. Why? Cause he's drunk. So. Of course they're all yelly yelly. And I guess that's the reason why i heard the door slam. So when everyone went home, my mom and dad went to bed. Being her niece and nephews, she tried defended them. My dad, being a fawking drunking idiot probably said something that upsetted her. Not noticing my brother was home, since he was in my room and he heard what she said to, was like Wtf... He had only been home for 10 minutes and he was in a delightful mood since he was riverrafting later that day. Soo, he went into my parents room. and was like what the eff. and then they exchanged words. he came out and was and said 'i don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I have a home at davis. If its going to be like this around here, i don't want to come back'. fawkk. >_> It's not that my dad believes my cousins are idiots. Both my brother and I agree. It's that he has to fucking get drunk, and tell it to my uncles faces, and making my mom cry. That what pisses me off the most. So, at the moment, my mom is sleeping downstairs with my sister, my brother is on his way back to davis but he was suppose to spend a night, and now i really don't want to deal with this shit either. I can't leave the house, because i'm afraid my dad might go on a tantrum tomorrow again because he'd want to justify himself but he'd do it in an idiotic way. I don't want to stay in the house. I want to leave. It's easy to. I can spend all day at lake elizabeth, at the tennis courts, or at a friends house. But, I can't leave. Because my morality won't fucking let me. If you ever see me drinking alcohol, please kick my ass. If i asked why? Say because you're drinking alchohol and i don't want you to become an asshole. I hope my brother comes back. He's fun to hang out with. But why should he? This happens. Before he didn't want to come back because my oldest brother is a dumbass too. He's going no where. He probably smokes pot, and gambles all his money away. And my parents still baby his ass. Hop didn't come back for a few months but he eventually did to come see me and my sister. He doesn't come as often as he used to though.
My parents argueing only occurs every few months. haha, guess why i'm always happy? Because I know people probably have it worst. This happens to me every now and then. For others, on a weekly, perhaps a daily basis. I hope that if i'm happy and think positive, they can at least be happy and positive for that moment of time, so that they don't need to spend every moment in what a dreadful place they hide away at home and just escape into a whole different world. Of course, not everyone has a secret second life at home, but it doesn't hurt for a happy person to become happier.
P.s. Please don't tell me sister any of this. She doesn't read my blog, so yeah. I'll just sugar coat it when she asks me.
*Sorry for the vulgar language. >< There's a study that when people curses, it stimulates so that it makes the pain easier. I'm not saying to curse, but i'm saying that I just needed to ):
Haha, you know Stella?!?! Wahaha, that's cool. She's related to you somehows. Well, she's related t oFelicia... So yeah. Wooh, D: When you get back from L.a. T_T. Since your laptop is now broken. I'm sorry that that happened. I'm sorry that you're mom is like that ><>_> Good luck on the test (: OMGOSH, SWINE FLEW? its still around...
Read more...I'll be waiting for that super long post! It better be so long, blogger would get angry because you are using to much of their data =D
No Penguins?!?! Oh noes... what do they have then T_T. Omgosh, such a great idea! I've never been snowboarding in Canada before D: I wonder how the snow is =O Awws, really? I'm sorry to hear that. Did you do it nicely!?
Ooo, L.A.?! What are you going to do there? DISNEYLAND!!!? Tower of terror <3. Take tons of pictures for me and show me, kays? (even if you don't go to disneyland!)
Aww, umm meditate! =D So you don't get pissy o-o Or or, go to the staircase and yell out "REMEMBER TO FLUSH THE TOILET" again to let out some steam XP
Hahaha, you've been apologizing a lot lately! What are you guys doing in the Buddha camp?!?! Cynthia was right, you guys do come back nice XP Hahaha, don't worry... in person i'm always cheerful =D Pssh, i love your stories =) I don't like talking about myself T_T. <- forgot what he wrote on his blog yesterday besides it was super duper long O_O. No need to change, just be yourself! (:
Pssh, nobody freshmen? more like super cool freshmen that uses the word uber! =D and, you do not suck at tennis! You can beat your dad (: Has it really been 4 days? D: time is passing by so fast now ><>< Even if we only known eachother for a short time. but but, it better last a lifetime! (:
Pssh, I keep my promises. I will take you snowboarding, bowling, and to eat pho! Sooner or later (: I brought a cake and got you a card like i said i would, yeah? So you better look forward to it! Like how i'm looking forward to Canada, and the Rockies. There better better penguins on that glacier :D
I'm sitll sorry it was lame. Oh oh, you better look forward to your birthday one though! I'll be sure to start earlier so I can not write lame stuff in it XP
Haha, reallys? Takeshi is cool =D I saw him often last year when i was at their house. Did'ya meet their mom? She is sooo cool! And their dad too =) They make super yummy baked potatoes <3.
~ How's Buddha camp? Tell me all about it!!!
Wooh, worked for 14 hours today. It's killing a lot of time ^^. I want to play tennis now D: I was just throwing a tantrum last time XP Haha's. Blehs, gotta go shopping for clothes soon >< I hate buying massive amounts of clothes at one time... so much bank.
Good thing you're resting well now Helen! I hope your having fun at Buddhist camp =D I'll start talking to you by Myspace or Blogging, since you never go on facebook >_> Ohh, and Cynthia got my gift! Yaaaaays =D Thanks for helping me out on the idea (: Thankyouthankyou. And, anytime you need someone talk to, i'm always here =D. Story time?!?
Argh. Couldn't play proper tennis today. Couldn't hit a single ball until the last 20 minutes of playing, but then I can only hit decent backhands. Forehands are being funny. I don't like my grips anymores. I think i'm going to take a break from tennis. Maybe a week? Possibly a month. We'll see. I think i'm just going to use that few hours of tennis and start picking up the guitar; I need something to clear my mind, and tennis is starting to pissy me off, when it usually does the complete opposite. Bleh, everytime I keep forgetting about her, she keeps popping up. Why? Lame. I shouldn't let these things distract me, Junior year is coming up. I have to get a 4.0. I have to be in the top 5. How else am I suppose to get to college. I want to start school, but I have so much things to accomplish before school starts. Blehs. FML T_T. I hope the guitar doesn't make me mad... I really need something to forget.
Cynthia birthday is in like 30 minutes!!! Well, I think it is already to her since its daytime in Vietnam. I hope she got my present =] andand, thanks Helen for helping me choose it ^^, much appreciated. ): you're going to be gone for 3 weeks, boo. That's as long as i've known her T_T. I hope you have fun in Buddhist camp, and L.A. and San Diego, and with your cousins.
Yay its August! Excited for Arts and Wine Festival sunday (:
I won't be seeing Cynthia and Lily for like 1 and a half weeks, and Helen for almost 3! Soo long, considering that I have been seeing them 3 times a week for the past month XP. I'm going to start studying SATs to pass the time...
School is coming. Gotta save up my munnis now so that I can buy me a ton of new clothes (:
